Finding hope in this hodgepodge of real life and real
emotions. “You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.”
Pema Chödrön
Have you ever watched those nature shows where they film
lions in the scrub, grasslands or open woodlands?
Well I am the only one is my home who really loves these
kinds of documentaries/movies/shows. The
other day I was watching Under the Arctic Sky on Netflix. Surfers travel to this remote corner in
Iceland in the middle of winter just to find the perfect surfing waves. A few days into their trip, the worst storm
in decades hits the Island, turning their trip into a life-threatening
situation. The captain of their rented
boat urged the surfers to come out of the water and for them to head to safe
lands until the storm corrects itself.
As I laid in bed with my 21-month-old, I began to rejoice in
the words spoken. Trying to listen/find
God in every piece of life, nature etc...
See at 42 years old...life has happened so fast. Lots of ups and downs but I am ever grateful
I have my God, beau, girls and family and my health. In a few weeks, I will have an extensive
surgery to remove my uterus due to fibroid tumors. This captains words spoken to my hurting soul....
the storm corrects itself.
The bible reminds me that tough times don't last
always. I heard that the storm will
correct and the storm is a part of the recovery process. This is a tough time for me. At 42 I thought I would be married with a
family not dating the same man for 5 years and 2 beautiful daughters (not from
relationship). Somehow God and people
move to their own beats. Sometimes those
rhythms are disruptive to our vision or THE vision.
But this show reminded me of hope... I don't know which way
we are going...but I am trying to give it my all. All I know is life is always about
restoration, even in messiness.
We are all in this process that drives us to restoration,
hope and peace, but it’s easy to forget in the middle of a storm.
Have you ever forgotten that, like maybe you’d never come
back from the storm? When you’re heartbroken and crestfallen, empty-handed and
exhausted to the core, have you ever forgotten that you will find way out?
When we forget this basic truth that we are always working
to restore balance, what we’re really forgetting about is hope. We’re forgetting
to trust the healing process.
Hearing this message reminded me of every time I lose hope
in being a wife, being financially free contributing on a larger scale to my
family and others.
I can’t tell you how many times things have felt like a complete
mess and how many of those times I didn’t trust that peace would come. There
have been so many failures and losses that left me so angry I feared that maybe
this was the new me.
But I always found my way back. Thank God for prayer and
prayer partners. And a 16-year-old who
is full of wisdom and a 21-month-old who keeps me present on what matters
most.
Hearing this message reminded me that I am stronger than I
give myself credit for. I am a single mother of 2. I work full time in a contract at a beautiful
company with an amazing driving supervisor who wants you to GROW...I can buy
health insurance to have my surgery EVEN if it is costing me $423 a month. :D I
serve a God who provides for me. And
although I am not married yet.... I do have a partner who came into my life at
a time when I guess we have needed each other and this year I ventured into an
eBay Store (which would have never happened, if my health insurance and 21
month old had not come into my life) to make extra money. It reminded me of my determined, if not
stubborn, spirit and will to keep on standing.
Yeah, maybe I’m a little worse for the wear after a storm,
but I do come out the other side because I am not the storm. I’m the vast,
blue, open sky. That’s who you are, too. You are the sky that is clear and
bright and steady. And that storm? It’s just the weather.
Sometimes in life, you get the beautiful sunrise of a new
beginning or the sparkling stars of life’s happiest days. Sometimes you get the
cool breeze of a cleansing breath or the refreshing shower of joy’s tears. But you know what? Sometimes you’ll get a thunderstorm, like
the tears you fear will never stop when your heart is breaking.
Storms are part of life. They’re a part of dreaming and
making plans. They can happen when you open yourself up to love and be loved. Storms can also happen when you do all the right things and
make all the right decisions and someone or something just takes you by
surprise and leaves you speechless. You are hurt. Injured, maybe. You may be weary and tattered.
But you are not broken.
Your storm right now may be devastating. It may knock out
your power for days on end. It may snow you in and flood you.
This storm you’re facing might leave you ransacking the shelves
and running for shelter in a cave shut away from the world. But remember that no matter what kind of storm this is, it’s
just the weather. You will find a way to restore peace, regain trust, and
recognize your will to keep moving.
Rebuilding from a storm is not easy, mind you. Neither is
the path of healing. It’s not fast. It’s not simple. It’s not painless. There is
no set-it-and-forget-it formula to recovering from a storm.
But when it’s a wonder that you’re standing at all is when
you need to trust yourself the most.
When you’re disillusioned and faced with choosing between
the lesser of two evils is the time to remember that you can still choose the
path that will do the best.
When it’s slowest and hardest, when you feel most stripped
and exposed, that’s the time when you need the most hope. Find hope in the knowledge that you can and will recover.
Because you can. You can rebuild and repair what the storm threatens to break. Whatever storm you may be facing, remember that you are so
much bigger than it is. You are the sky. Do something kind for yourself.
Set some healthy Goals.
Next Blog I will share about healthy Goal Setting...I have been away for
a while...but I am back as I can use this medium to share...
Above all chose daily Christ through affirmation, prayer,
studying the bible and using your time to share what all of this means to you
with others. Everyone is hurting and
needs some assurance in this hodgepodge of real life and real emotions.
